Free IELTS resources to help you maximize your score.
Don’t stop at 7. Go and get that 9!

Dear Ryan,
Thanks to your guidance, I was able to increase my writing score from 6.5 to 7.5, and then to 8.5! I really don't believe I could have done it without you.
-Imam Mohamed

Hi Ryan,
I am so happy to inform you that I scored 7.5 in writing!
-Sunish Manalody

Hi Ryan,
Thanks for your help, I’ve scored band 8 in writing.
-Vladan Martinovic

Hi Ryan,
I prepared just by looking at your videos and scored 7.5! Thank you!
-Rahul Paldiwal

Hi Ryan,
I would like to thank you for your very helpful lessons. I finally got 7 in all modules and can now start residency processing for New Zealand!
-Kiran Kiccha

Hi Ryan,
I obtained a writing score of 8.5. Your videos were instrumental in helping me achieving this score. Thanks, mate!
-Carlos Flores

Hi Ryan,
Thank you for my 8.0 writing score. You ebook played a pivotal role in my success!
-Awais Butt

Hi Ryan,
I read your blog every day and scored 7.5 in writing!
-Vikrant Mahajan

I went from band 6.0 to 7.5 following Ryan’s coaching!
-Viacheslav Porotikov

IELTS Writing Module Task 1 contest results! 27 of your submissions assessed!

Posted on March 29, 2012 by - 15 Comments

Thank you to those of you who took the time to submit your work to our writing contest last week.  I am sorry to keep you waiting in angst for these results (as I know many of you are engaging the exam this Saturday).  Despite a few hold ups early in the week, I was able to have a good look at 27 submissions from you (12 General exam submissions and 15 Academic exam submissions).  I think you will agree when you read them that there are some very talented writers among us.

Before we get to the submissions themselves, I would like to briefly explain how I went about gauging bands.  I am not an IELTS examiner and do not have access to the private marking rubrics IELTS examiners use to qualify the writing submitted to them by IELTS test takers.  I have, however, been told by IELTS examiners themselves that the public marking descriptors made available from IELTS.org are very similar to the actual marking rubrics they use.  So, this is what I referred to when gauging your writing.  To get a copy of the descriptors chart for yourself, click here.

As you can see from the descriptors chart, the overall band is given based on four criteria: Task Achievement, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resources and Grammatical Range and Accuracy.  I tried to gauge each Task 1 response on this page as closely as I could to these four skill areas before averaging an overall band.

You will notice that the vast majority of people scored at roughly Band 6.  If you are one of these people, I am sure the first thing you will ask yourself is, ‘why am I not Band 7?’.  Let me elaborate a little bit on the difference between Band 6 and 7 (for a more in depth look at these bands, please watch my video on the subject here):

The problems that a Band 6 student has often exacerbate other issues.  For one, typically Band 6 writing is remarkable for having grammatical errors in many sentences.  At times, these grammatical errors will cause issues of coherence, which will in turn impact the Task Achievement portion of the student’s mark.  So as you can see, many of the Band 6 student’s problems are interconnected.

Band 7 writing, on the other hand, presents ‘frequent [grammatically] error-free sentences’ (this is a direct quote from the Band descriptors chart) and more instances of contextually accurate vocabulary than found in Band 6 writing.  In addition to this, the entire composition can be understood by the reader (which may not be true at the Band 6 level).

Band 6 tends to be where many students plateau.  The question then becomes: what does a Band 6 student need to do to get to a Band 7 level (or above)?

The answer to the above is to write both concisely and precisely.  All too often, students put their energy into studying how to write long, elaborate sentences in an effort to sound like masters of the English language.  But this is a flawed approach.  Long, elaborate sentences are much more likely to contain grammatical errors, which (as we outlined above) can lead to problems in coherence and Task Achievement.  What students should be focusing on is writing short, concise sentences that are grammatically and contextually accurate.  An IELTS Task that is full of succinct, accurate sentences will score much better than a Task full of long, inaccurate ones.

So, without further ado, let’s get to the Task 1 submissions themselves.  Our top scorers for the General Task 1 contest were Sangram (who I believe is from India) and Rosana (who is from Peru).  Our top scorers for the Academic Task 1 contest were MT (who is from Hong Kong, China) and Sebastian (who is from Germany).

Congratulations to the four of you!

General Task 1 Question (as seen this year in Canada):

You are having trouble paying rent for the house where you live. Write a letter to your landlord:

  • -explaining your current financial situation
  • -asking for a house change
  • -apologizing for the trouble this will cause

General Task 1 Responses:

Submission 1 (Student’s country: unknown, Band 8):

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing to you to allow me to change my house, as my current financial situation makes it unaffordable for me.

Lately, I have been facing financial troubles in my life. Last month, I lost my job on account of the cost cutting measures taken by my company. Although, I have found a new job, the salary offered is substantially lower than the salary at the earlier job. Obviously, the current apartment is unaffordable to me. Hence, I want to move to a cheaper apartment in “Honks Villa”.

I understand that as per the house rent agreement between us, I am eligible to receive a fine for leaving the apartment before the promised time span of 11 months. However, In light of my traumatic financial condition, I request you to be considerate towards me and waive the fine. I know that my abrupt decision is bound to cause you undue trouble, since you will have to search for another tenant before time, and I am very sorry about the inconvenience this has caused to you. Thank you for going through my letter and I am hoping to receive a positive response from you.

Yours Sincerely,

X

Submission 2 (Student’s country: Peru, Band 8):

Dear Mr. Smith,

I am writing to apologize for the fact that my rent, which was due on 15 March, is as of this point, late. I know and respect that you need the rent on or before the due date, but unfortunately I am experiencing some financial difficulties due to a high and unexpected raise in my school fees.

Now I am working in double shifts in order to pay all the bills that I fell behind. I have borrowed money from my family members so I will pay the full amount to you by the end of the current week. Despite I love living here I am planning to look for another place to live by the end of this month.

Please accept my humble apologies for my tardiness. As you know, I have always been current for my rent. I hope my tardiness has not caused you any adverse situations. Thank you for your forbearance during this difficult time. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

X

Submission 3 (Student’s country: England, Band 7.5):

I am writing to you today to alert you to the fact that I am currently experiencing financial problems and am therefore unable to continue paying rent for my accommodation at the above property.

I appreciate that this may come as a surprise as I only signed the lease four months ago in November, however, I have been under the threat of redundancy since early January as my company have chosen to downsize. I have therefore accepted their offer of my continuing in my position on a part-time basis from 1st February. Far preferable, I believe, to no job at all which could have been the end result of these changes, particularly in this current climate of global financial crises. My colleagues in Spain have been far worse hit and most have no recourse to a part time solution. I am sure that you will accept then, that I have no alternative but to ask for a house move.

As I am aware that you have several properties in the area I would be very grateful if you would consider my relocation to a house or flatshare with a more affordable rent (I enclose my latest pay slip to illustrate the hardship I would suffer were I to continue paying a higher rent, and to indicate why I feel a rent of £250 a month would be much more affordable for me).

I am under no illusion as to the hassle this would cause you, as my family have rented out houses in the past and I know that they abhorred a tenant who, so soon after signing a contract, was unable to pay the monthly rent. I do sincerely regret this turn in circumstance but knowing that you are a reasonable man I am sure you will see your way to finding a solution whereby both of us maintain our positions. Particularly as you have seen, from your house visit, that I have kept your property clean and well maintained always alerting you to any issues that would require your attention and, notwithstanding, being an excellent neighbor ensuring low noise levels and certainly not creating any nuisance!

Once again, I regret to cause you any trouble but I wanted to outline my position at the earliest to avoid further problems.

I look forward to hearing from you soon

Best regards,

X

Submission 4 (Student’s country: Canada, Band 6.5, penalized for length)

Dear Mr Smith,

I am writing to you in regards to my struggle to make my rent payments.

Unfortunately, my housemate recently had to relocate for a new job, therefore he has moved out. I am now left to pay for the full rent on my own. I have advertised for a new housemate in the local newspaper as well as putting up an ad in the local supermarket, but have failed to have any responses.

My other option would be to move into a smaller house on my own with lower rent. Would you happen to have a one bedroom house available for rent up to $240 a week plus utilities?

I want to apologize in advance for all the trouble this may cause you.

Thank you for your time on this matter.

Yours Truly,

X

Submission 5 (Student’s country: Japan, Band 6.5):

Dear Mr. Tongxin

I am writing to ask you whether I can change my room. I am currently living in a studio in UTS residence and would like to move to a 6-share room instead.

The principal reason why I would like to change my room is that the Australian dollar has been drastically appreciated against Japanese yen these days. It has increased more than twenty percent compared to the price at the end of last year and it is constantly rising now. I have my money for the rent in a bank back in Japan and have to transfer it from Japan then  exchange it to Australian dollars. It seems to me that I cannot afford the rent for this studio where I currently live if this currency trend continues later this semester. For this reason, can I ask for a room change?

I understand that it may be difficult to arrange a new room in the middle of semester, but this is an urgent  priority for me. If it would help, I would be delighted to discuss this issue with you in person in the office of UTS Housing.

Yours sincerely

X

Submission 6 (Student’s country: India, Band 6.5):

Hi Alex,

I am writing to advise you that I cannot continue in this apartment anymore and ask for your help to arrange another apartment for me.

As you know that my business is setup in Chennai, a coastal area in India. Due to tsunami last week in the area, my entire investment is gone. Since the business was insured, I spoke to the insurance agency but they advised that insurance policies do not cover loss due to natural calamities. I am filing an application for bankruptcy in the local court. You see my situation makes it really difficult for me to pay the rent of this costly apartment. Therefore, I request you to arrange a one bedroom apartment of low rent, if you have any apartment available. I understand that a flat in the city would cost me more; therefore I am ready to shift to nearby suburbs.

I hope my current financial situation will not disturb our relationship. I apologies for all the inconveniences this is going to cause you.

Yours faithfully,

X

Submission 7 (Student’s country: unknown, Band 6.5):

Dear Sir or Madam,

Request for house change

I am writing this letter to ask for a change of house.

At present I am living in house 12B, Park Street. Unfortunately, I am writing this letter to ask for a house change due to my financial situation. As you may be aware, there was a salary cut in my company for all employees due to the recent recession. In addition to that, I have a car loan and I am struggling to meet my day to day expenses. So the current rent has become unaffordable for me.

It would be nice, if I can move to the vacant house at the end of the street as the rent would be much lower there. This can help me manage my finances, better. I know it is far from the bus stop, but I am ready to walk that distance. It will help me to get some exercise amidst my busy schedule also.

I know that global financial crunch has hit everyone and I understand your situation and sincerely apologize for the trouble caused.

I look forward to hearing from you and thanks in advance for you help.

Yours faithfully,

X

Submission 8 (Student’s country: unknown, Band 6):

Dear Mr. Raghav,

I am writing this letter to you to explain the unfortunate financial situation that I am currently facing. As a result, I am unable to pay the contractually agreed rent of the house for the past couple of months.

Since the past six months, my financial situation has deteriorated considerably. It all started when economic recession engulfed my full-time job half a year back and since then, I have taken to private home tuitions to cover up some of my expenses. However, my earnings still remain meagre and are insufficient to fulfill my rental obligation towards you.

As a result, I hereby request you to agree to an immediate forfeit of the contract so that I could search for an economical accommodation in the city starting next week. I need to try my hardest to search for an housing worth living in at half of the rent I agreed to pay you.

I truly understand that this would come as a shock to you and also that it would jeopardize your financial plans until you do not find a replacement for me. I sincerely apologize for putting you through such a situation and would like to help you in anyways that you think appropriate.

I request for a personal meeting with you to discuss the matter. Hope to see you soon.

Yours Sincerely,

X

Submission 9 (Student’s country: unknown, Band 6):

Dear Mr. Hairsine,

I am writing to you regarding my lease payment. It is very embarrasing but I am afraid I will not be able to make it on time.

I am dealing with serious finantial problems after my wife´s car accident last month.  Although, thanks good, her recovery from the shock has been extremely fast, she still needs a knee surgery as soon as possible. Although I have a private health insurance, I have been advised than it will only cover half of the expenses of the operation which sum up AUD 6000.

As a consecuence of my situation, I have decided to leave the house I am currently renting. I am really sorry about my decision but I do not have any other choice. Alterativelly, I would really appreciate it if you can rent one of the studios you have in Goldburn Street to me. I am aware that my finantial situation is not the most suitable to be accepted as your tenant but I will only need 6 months to get back to the normallity.

I am very sorry for any inconvenience this situation may have caused you.

I am looking forward to hearing back from you.

Kind regards,

X

Submission 10 (Student’s country: unknown, Band 5.5)

Dear Mr. John

I am student of Business Studies. I got admission in UK on a scholarship of 1 year and I had to complete my course work in one year. But unfortunately I failed to complete my course work in the defined time. My scholarship money is almost finished and I have no other financial means of paying my rents and other commodities. I have to leave the apartment and move in with a roommate or have to make some other type of arrangements for myself because I still need about 2 months to complete my master’s degree.  

I can’t afford the apartment in which I am living now. I need a cheaper place to live and have to split the rent with a roommate. I heard that there is a studio apartment available on the 16th floor of the building. Its rent is very reasonable and this building is near to my University. I will be very thankful to you if you could allot the apartment to me.  

I know you have to prepare all legal documents again for me and have to advertise the apartment in which I am living now. I am very sorry for any inconvenience I have caused.

X

Submission 11 (Student’s country: China, Band 5.5):

Hello Joseph,

I am sorry to write to notice you that I would not afford the big house where I live any more due to my tough financial situation caused by the extremely strong Australian dollar. You may also heard that the currency between Aussie dollar and Chinese yuan bombed by almost 30% in six weeks. So this unpredictable extra cost had forced me to decrease my life outcome from clothing, food, entertainment and rental.

As a result, I hope you provide me another more afford property in the same area or just reasonable close to my school. Indeed, a small townhouse or even an unit would suit me if possible. Of course, I am still very happy to obey the same rules which listed my our previous contract and pay a properly amount of fine for my action.

I apologies again for the inconveniences and look forward to waiting for your responses.

Kind regards,

X

Submission 12 (Student’s country: Bangladesh, Band 5.5):

Dear Mr. Anderson,

It is very regret to inform you that recently I am terminated from my job and consequently fall into great financial problem. I am writing this letter to let you know that it will be difficult for me paying rent for that house that I rented from you.

As you know, I had the handsome salary job when I took rent your house. But unfortunately I lost my job due to my company cost reduction initiative. That’s why I was unemployed for last two months. I tried to get handsome salary job but I could not. Recently I joined a job which salary just half of my previous job. Under these circumstances it will be very difficult for me to stay in your high rent flat. , I have been staying in our house for nine months, besides contact was to stay at least for one year. Considering the fact I don’t have any option without changing the house. I am really sorry to inform you the changing decision that I taken.  

I know that my decision fall into trouble to you. Please apologize and allow me for changing the house by next month considering my economical condition. Also you could suggest me regarding low rented house if you know.

I am looking your prompt response in this regards and thanks for your support during stay in your flat.

Sincerely yours,

X

 

Academic Task 1 Question (as seen this year in Brazil):

The following graphs illustrate electronic gaming trends in South Korea in 2006. The first outlines gamer age groups and gender demographics. The second indicates game type preference. Summarize this information for a university lecturer.

 

 

Academic Task 1 Reponses:

Submission 1 (Student’s country: Hong Kong, Band 8):

The given bar charts illustrate the trends of electronic gaming in South Korea in 2006. The first graph gives information about gamers’ age and gender, and the second compares gamers’ preferences for different types of games.

It is clear from the first chart that gamers under the age of 12 formed the smallest group at 14%. By contrast, gamers aged between 20 and 29 comprised the largest proportion at 45%, tripling the smallest group. While the figure for gamers aged over 30 was similar to that for gamers aged below 12, the number of gamers aged between 13 and 19 was higher at 26%. Of equal note is that male gamers significantly outnumbered female gamers in all age groups.

Around 50% of gamers rated role playing games the most popular in marked contrast to simulation, which had the least popularity. The preferences for strategy/turn based and action games, on the other hand, did not differ remarkably greatly. Just a little more than 20% of gamers preferred the former, where approximately 17% favored the latter.

Submission 2 (Student’s country: Germany, Band 8):

These two bar charts graphically outline electronic gaming trends in South Korea in the year 2006. While the first graph details the proportions of gamers considering different age groups and gender, the second depicts which type of games are played.

The first graph shows that almost three-quarters, 74%, of the gamers are male and consequently there are more male gamers than female gamers in every single age group. Nearly the half of all gamers, 45%, are aged between 20 and 29 years with a partitioning of 35% being male and 10% being female. The second largest age group is from 13 to 19 years which make up 26% of all gamers. The rest splits up almost even between gamers who are younger than 12 years, 14%, and gamers who are older than 30 years, 15%.

According to the second diagram the vast majority, about 48%, of games that are played belongs to Role playing games. The next most major game type is Action with approximately 22%. Strategy, Simulation and other type of games amass smaller percentages, at roughly 16%, 11% and 3% respectively.

Submission 3 (Student’s country: Italy, Band 7.5):

The first graph depicts the electronic gaming population in South Korea in 2006. The demographics are articulated in four age groups, and further differentiated by gender. It can be observed that male gamers are significantly more than the female ones; in fact they are more than double in all age groups except the first, children 12 years old and younger. The general trend is however similar for both genders, with a nearly linear increase over the first three age groups, from the youngest gamers to those aged 20 to 29, and a substantial drop in the fourth age group, gamers aged 30 years and older.

The second graph illustrates the genre preferences across the same population. The preferences are articulated in four categories representing the major game genres, plus a residual category for all the other genres. Role playing games gather nearly half of the preferences, while action games have approximately 20%, strategy and turn based games follow with approximately 15% and simulation games with approximately 10%. Other game genres are only preferred by a negligible percentage of the gamers.

Although there is no obvious relationship between game genre preferences and demographic details such as age and gender, it is peculiar that a majority of the gaming population is in the relatively mature age group of the 20 to 29 year olds. It may be conjectured a correlation between this fact and the high level of preference for role playing games, however the data available is not sufficiently detailed to confirm this hypothesis. It would be interesting to compare these graphs with analogous information for a Western country, since it is likely that in this case the dominant age group would be the teenagers, 13 to 19 year olds, and the favourite genres action and simulation games.

Submission 4 (Student’s country: unknown, Band 7):

The bar charts show gamers personal characteristics and game preferences in South Korea in 2006. More specifically, they present the percentage of male and female in four different age groups and the general game preference between five types, also presented in percentage.  An overall majority of male players can be seen in all age groups and almost half of all gamers prefer the same type of game.

In the age group 12 years of age or less, male players represent almost 10% of all gamers and almost doubled the amount of females. Following the trend, in the age group 13 to 19 years of age male players more than doubled the percentage of female players, reaching 18% against only 8% respectively. The figures reach the pick in the age group 20 to 29 year of age, where 35% of male and 10% of female gamers fit. Finally, in the last group, within 30 years of age or older gamers the figures dropped dramatically to 12% of male and 3% of female.

According to the second chart, the role playing type of game represents almost 50% of preference among all gamers. The second most popular is the action type, with approximately 20% of preference.  Following these are the categories strategy/turn based, simulation and other, with roughly 16, 12 and 2% respectively.

Submission 5 (Student’s country: unknown, Band 7):

The first bar chart shows the proportion of males and females playing computer games in South Korea in the year 2006, while the second chart illustrates the level of popularity of different games.

It is apparent that men were more active game players than women in all age groups. It is also clear that the most widespread type of 6 online games was role playing.

It appears that the highest proportion of gamers were males in age 20-29- 35%, compared to only 10 % of women-players. We can also see that males in 13-19 age group approximately doubled the number of females. Notably,  less than 12 years old category shows the lowest pattern for gamers among boys, which comprised nearly 10%. Whereas, the lowest figure for females of 30+ age constituted only 3%.

As can be seen from the second chart, almost a half of gamers played role-playing games. The second popular game type was action, the level of which stood at just over 20 %. Whereas, a small minority  preferred to play strategic games. 11% of gamers gave their preference to simulation games.

Submission 6 (Student’s country: unknown, Band 6.5):

The following bar graphs represent the result of a study conducted in 2006 in South Korea regarding electronic gaming trend.  The first illustration is the representation of the age and sex data of the respondents while the second graph reveals the game type.

Amongst the age group, male and female alike, age 20-29 have registered the highest number of participants on e-games with 35% and 10%, respectively.  Data of age group from 13-19 showed a significant drop in the number of male player at 18% while female gamers recorded a minimal decline to 8%.  Participants that belong to extreme age groups, age below 12 and 30 and above, have the least partaker, as low as 8% for male and 3% for female.

The second graph clearly identified the nature of play.  Most of the gamers, about 48%, were inclined to Role Playing.  Action came as the next choice of the respondents with figure plunged to roughly 22%.  Strategy/Turn, Simulation and Others were the third (15%), fourth (11%) and least (2%) pick, respectively.  

From the bar graphs, one can conclude that male, across all age groups, predominated on the electronic gaming trends and Role playing was the top choice for game type.

Submission 7 (Student’s country: India, Band 6.5):

The first graph shows the comparative percentages of male and female electronic gamers across four different age groups in South Korea in 2006,  whereas the second one represents game types preferred.

Clearly, the male gamers outnumber female gamers in all age         groups.The highest percentage of both were seen among 20-29 year olds,being 35% for males and 10%for females.The lowest were recorded in under12 age group.The percentage  for both genders increased steadily till 29 years of age.However,beyond 30 years of age,significant decline was seen among males as well as females.

Among the games type preferred,nearly 50 %of all gamers liked role playing games.This was followed by action games and strategy or turn based games being 22% and 18% respectively.Games based on simulation and other categories were played by 10 percent or less gamers.

To sum up,male players aged 20-29constituted the biggest group.However,it is not clear whether these gamers liked the most popular role-based games.

Submission 8 (Student’s country: India, Band 6)

The graph shows the trends of electronic gaming in South Korea in 2006. The first graph shows the age of male and female gamers and their total percentage. The percentage of male gamers below 12 year was 9, which increased to double among teens age group 13-19. It peaked at 35 percentage for the next age group (20-29) followed by 23 percent declined for over age group30.

On the other hand, for females the percentage was 5 below age 12 which increased steadily over the period and doubled the total percentage for 20-29 age group. Then it decreased sharply by 7 for the age group over 30.

The second graph shows the type of game which were opted among total gamers. The highest percentage about 48 were for role playing games and second most were for action type game stood almost half the role playing games at 23. Strategy or turn based games and simulation games were opted by 16 and 12 percentages respectively. The Least popular games were other type at 3 percentage.

Submission 9 (Student’s country: India, Band 6, response likely not written within 20 minutes):

The column graphs give information about proportion of gamers according to their age and sex, and different sort of electronic games liked by Korean game players in 2006.

It can be clearly seen from the first graph, males were more interested to play video games than females. To begin with, just below 10% of below twelve years males liked to play electronic games. On the other hand, percentage of females was less than men i.e only 5%. As the age grows, the interest of both sexes for games also grows up.  Between 13-19 year olds, proportion of male gamers doubled, reaching at approximately 16% and women figures hardly grew at 7%. It is interesting to note that at the age of 21-29, the proportion of male game players increased dramatically and climbed at 35%. By contrast, there was slight rise (up to 10%) in the statistics of females of same age group.  Moving to next point, when men and women cross their thirties, their interest in playing electronic games declines and 12% men and 3% women liked to play video games.

The second diagram clearly demonstrates that role playing games were most popular among Korean games as these games were played by just below 50% people. Action type games were second most favourite games played by more than 20% gamers. Percentage of Strategy/turn based games and simulation fluctuated between 11 and 15. Only 2% of other types of games were played by Korean game-players.

In a nutshell, males preferred to participate more in electronic games and females and role playing games were most popular among both genders.

Submission 10 (Student’s country: Iran, Band 6):

The graphs compare the quantity of electronic gaming in South Korea. They show the percentage of two genders in four period of life and the distinction of different kinds of game.

The first graph shows there is a gradual increase in the percentage of total gamers in both male and female until it reaches the peak in 20 to 29 years to 35% and 10% respectively. The percentage of mail under 12 doubled from 9% in age between 13 to 19 and the same process repeated for the age of 20 to 29. While the percentage of female starts to increase about 3% in the beginning and 2% in the next ages. However, the percentages of both genders shrink to be third of what it was in the previous ages (20-29).

The second graph reveals the preference among games. The maximum percentage recorded for role playing games which is followed by action games (48% and 22% respectively). Strategy and turn based games comes in the 3rd with 16% of people manner and the simulation games is about half of the percentage of action games. Although about 3 % of people choose other sorts of games.

Submission 11 (Student’s country: unknown, Band 6):

The first bar chart compares the percentage of both genders affinity towards playing games in South Korea in 2006 while the second one shows the preference given to four types of games. The most striking feature is that playing games is greatly more popular among males.

As can be seen, the 20-29 age group accounted the first place in comparison with other age groups. However, males considerably outnumbered females as three out of ten males played games compared to only one out of ten females. In the same manner, but to a lesser extent, although both males and females aged 13-19 years old played games more than those who were over thirty years old, there is still a gap or 10% and 9% between both gender respectively. This gap appeared closest in under twelve years old group as 9% of males played games compared to 5% of females.

Another noticeable trend is that role playing games are infinitely preferable to other games. Approximately half of respondents preferred it whereas action, strategy/turn based and animation games gained 21%, 16%, 11% of preference respectively.

Submission 12 (Student’s country: Bhutan, Band 6):

In a given graph, it has been illustrated in two different scenarios wherein the first graph depicts the gender demographics against the age group and second one shows the type of game preferred in South Korea in 2006. There are few significant incidents that have to be revealed after summarization of the graph.

It has been shown that, the number of total gamers at the age of 20-29 is highest from the range of age and it was overruled by male as shown in the first graph. Though there is steep increase in the percentage of male gamers till the age of 29, the percentage for the women was increased with little percentage only. However, by the early thirties, the percentage for both male and women declined drastically.

On the other hand, among the maximum gamers, the most preferred games among the South Korean was role playing games which dominated with the highest preference percentage of 48%. Since, the majority of male population was gamer; the preference for action type was next to role playing games followed by strategy, simulation and others.

All in all, it concludes that majority of gamers were male and out of which most of them prefer to play role playing games provided if the population for male and female is considered same for that year.

Submission 13 (Student’s country: Philippines, Band 5.5):

The first graph shows which age group has the highest percentage in playing electronic games in South Korea in 2006 and it is based on gender demographic, while the second graph describes the variety of games being played by both male and female gamer.

Looking at the first graph, majority of the gamers are seen in age 20-29 and male gathers 35% while female gets 10%. Subsequently, the age of 13-19 is the next to the highest, respectively. Then 30 year old of male is positioned as the third to the top while in female it is the age group 12 and below. Finally, age group 12 years old and below have lowest percentage in male while aging 30 and up is the least in female.  

On the second graph, the commonly game being played by both gender  regardless of age group age group is Role playing which gathered almost 50%. Action games are the second choice among the type of game and comprises of 20%. Players are rarely chosen Strategy/Turn based games while stimulation and other type of game are least priority of the participants.

In analyzing of both data, male is more active in electronic games compared to female. It is seen also seen that players are preferred Role playing games.

Submission 14 (Student’s country: unknown, Band 5.5):

The given bar graphs illustrates trends in South Korea in electronic gaming and its players preference  in the year2006.The first graph is tells about four age groups and the percentage of  gamers from each age group.The second graph shows five different types of game and its popularity among the players.

It is clear from the first graph that the highest percentage of players are from 20-29 age group for both genders.There was 35% of male players and 10% of female gamers.The second largest category was 13-19 and around 18% and 8%for boys and girls played game ,respectively.The gaming trend was going up steadily from the youngest age group (>12) to (20-29).From that age there was  a marked reduction in  number in the category to 30.

The second graph illustrates five different types of game and its preference among all the people .It is noticeable that the most popular game among the players was Role playing games( 49%).The second popular one was Action (21%) and third and fourth was Strategy /Turn based and Simulation .The least one was other category(1%).

In conclusion,it is clear from the first graph that the largest number of male and female players are from 20 -29  age category .It is clear that electronic gaming  was very popular in that particular age.At the same time,in the second graph mention that the largely interested area  of game was Role playing .

Submission 15 (Student’s country: China, Band 5.5):

Given are two graphs showing the trend of electronic gaming in South Korea for the year 2006, one of which demonstrates the gamer ratio for different gender in 4 age groups and another illustrates the popularity of gaming type in all gamers.

As seen in the first bar chart, it was obvious that the male population playing electronic games far outweighed the females doing and the 20-29 group took up the highest   percentage for both gender, 35% and 10% for male and female respectively. Besides, the second highest was group 13-19, male and female having 18% and 8% for each. Ranks in three and four were different age group for both gender. For males, the group 30+ accounted for 12% and age less than 12 rated at 9%. While the proportion for female was 5% and 3% for group <12 and 30+ separately.

Then the second chart gave us the apparent view that role playing games possess the most great popularity among all, rating at roughly 48%. And action ranked second at approximately 22%, followed by the preference of strategy/turn based game being about17%. Lastly, the most less popular game were simulation (at a hair more than 10%) and other (at nearly 2%).

(Video) Try these 10 IELTS questions!

Posted on March 26, 2012 by - 21 Comments

I know many of you are waiting for me to put last week’s contest results online.  I should have them ready for tomorrow.  While you’re waiting, try the 10 questions in this video.  Be sure to let us know how many you get correct by leaving a comment.

Please check beneath the video box to see a copy of the essay.

Many countries want to move factories and big industrial firms out of towns and into rural areas.  Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Recently, movements have been made the world over/around the earth to relocate factories and industrial companies out of small towns and into more rural areas.  It is felt that on the whole this strategy hinders/brings with it more advantages than disadvantages.  The subjects of public health and child labour will be analyzed to prove this thesis true.

For one, the health hazards that derive from industrial and residential proximity are unfortunate phenomena that have been exhibited many times along/throughout history.  The nuclear meltdown in the Ukrainian city of Chernobyl acts as an extreme example of this.  In 1990s Chernobyl, townspeople lived in close proximity to a nuclear plant that provided energy to the region.  Because/As a result the plant was located so closely to the townspeople, its meltdown was particularly harmful to the health of many, causing birth defects, growth abnormalities and various forms of cancer.  As this example makes clear, the benefits that come from moving industrial production facilities out of towns can be seen/are witnessed clearly.

In addition to health promotion/promoting, moving factories away from residentially sparse/dense areas may help to curb disturbing trends in child labour among developing countries.  In many small towns in Anhui, China, for example, high school aged children who grow up near factories are often enticed/dissuaded to leave school and start careers.  These same trends are not/commonly seen among Shanghai high school students, however, where residentially dense areas are typically not proximate to industrial plants.  Thus, this makes it clear that townspeople living in the vicinity of factories may experience a reduction in their overall level of education.  Therefore, the advantages of relocating factories obviously outweigh the disadvantages.

Following this look at how a strategy for industrial displacement would lead to both health benefits and a reduction in child labour, it is felt that this course of action/course of work should be supported.  It is hoped worldwide measures are taken to realize this vision.

(Task 1 Academic/General writing contest!) Time for another online writing contest, don’t you think?

Posted on March 19, 2012 by - Comments are off

Let’s get writing!

I received 37 submissions to our last contestThis time, I’m hoping we can clear 50 entries.

For those of you unfamiliar with the online IELTS contests I run from this website, the rules are simple:

  • -complete a written response to the question given
  • -email your written response to ryanthiggins@gmail.com (as a .doc or .docx attachment, please) before 23:59 this Saturday night, the 24th of March
  • -write ‘IELTS contest‘ as the subject of your email (This step is very important!  Last time a handful of submissions went missing in my email simply because students did not write the correct subject.)

Entering this contest is free of charge (this means you do not have to pay any money!), but I am asking you to help spread the word about this blog.  Thus, to download the contest questions, you will need to Tweet this blog on Twitter.com or Share this blog on Facebook.  To do this, click ‘Pay with a Tweet or Facebook’ (I promise this will in no way charge you any money).  Once your Tweet or Facebook post is made, you will be able to download a pdf file of our contest questions and enter the online contest!

Click this button to download the contest questions now:

(Audio) Listen to me respond to a voicemail I received this morning about how to study English

Posted on March 19, 2012 by - 1 Comment

I received a new voicemail this morning from a student engaging the MELAB.  Although this recording is not entirely IELTS related, we go over some ways to study effectively.

eBooks eBooks

eBooks
Academic Task 1: How to write at a 9 level

This eBook groups all information the student needs to know to perform well on Task 1 of their Academic exam.

Buy Now
eBooks
General Task 1: How to write at a 9 level

Learn to write the 6 letter types that appear on the General exam.

Buy Now
eBooks
Academic and General Task 2: How to write at a 9 level

An eBook describing everything necessary to compose a successful essay.

Buy Now

Ryan's Recent Posts Posts

Just 60 minutes to better IELTS Speaking!

Click here to download an MP3 copy of the conversation.

Buy Ryan’s Task 2 ebook (2017 version!) Click the Table of Contents to see what’s inside:
2017 Task 2 ebook cover PNG file TOC small

$19 USD! Get an automatic email delivery in two minutes:

buy-now-1

Did you know I have ebooks for both modules of IELTS Writing? Have a look: http://ieltsielts.com/study-with-ryan/

Band 9 writing under an X-ray!

Thanks to ‘Examiner C’ for this model. Here is the essay as it appears in the video:

Many people think that public celebrations (like national holidays, festivals, etc.) are a waste of money and that the government should spend these funds in a better way.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and examples from personal experience where appropriate.

National holidays cost countries and their governments a lot of money. Wages need to be paid to employees despite their absence from work, and a national loss in productivity is experienced. For these reasons, some people suggest governments do away with holidays and instead spend the money on worthy projects. While this might seem at first to be a practical suggestion, I disagree strongly for a number of reasons.

Firstly, it is axiomatic that a country’s production of goods declines when workers are not working; however, this is a tiny part of a much larger economic picture. Productivity is a function not only of hours worked but also of energy, drive, and morale. Thus, national holidays, which give workers a chance to relax and to celebrate aspects of their country and their lives, make for a happier and more productive workforce. In Australia, for example, the long weekend is a tradition that helps to unify society by making all feel rewarded and valued in a common enterprise and identity. It is for these reasons that labelling public celebrations ‘a waste of money’ cannot be supported.

Further, having the financial means to start new national projects is a good thing, but the question of apportioning funds in a manner that an entire society agrees is ‘a better way’ is simply unrealistic. A further consideration is the ramifications of pressure put on workers to work 52 straight weeks a year, a policy that could lead to stress-related illnesses and serious social problems. As this shows, the cancelling of public holidays and redirection of funds is an implausible suggestion.

In conclusion, I must affirm that while it is tempting to realise the short-term increase in productivity and savings that would result from abolishing public holidays, the overall cost greatly outweighs the gains.

Buy Ryan’s Task 2 ebook (2017 version!) Click the Table of Contents to see what’s inside:
2017 Task 2 ebook cover PNG file TOC small

$19 USD! Get an automatic email delivery in two minutes:

buy-now-1

Did you know I have ebooks for both modules of IELTS Writing? Have a look: http://ieltsielts.com/study-with-ryan/

A former examiner wrote this band 9 essay…

Buy Ryan’s Task 2 ebook (2017 version!) Click the Table of Contents to see what’s inside:
2017 Task 2 ebook cover PNG file TOC small

$19 USD! Get an automatic email delivery in two minutes:

buy-now-1

Watch a second video like the above here: https://www.patreon.com/ieltsryan

Here is the essay as it appears in the video:

Many people believe that a large proportion of a country’s health budget should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give examples from personal experience where appropriate.

Modern medicine has evolved along two lines: prevention and cure. Many believe that too much emphasis is placed on the latter and that the balance of national health spending should shift to prevention. I am inclined to agree; however, my support is with the stipulation that an imbalance in the other direction should be avoided.

Many modern diseases that require pharmaceutical or surgical intervention, such as diabetes, heart disease and cancer, are induced by poor lifestyle choices. There is an abundance of evidence that these conditions are brought on by such factors as smoking, excessive dietary fat and sugar, and a lack of physical exercise. I have myself lost several family members to cancers and heart disease caused by smoking. Because the cost of treating these diseases is very high, and the prognosis uncertain, the need for preventative intervention is clear.

Fulfilling this need could be exercised in a number of ways. For one, the government could provide more health and fitness centres, and mount a public awareness campaign to encourage people to use them. In addition to this, taxes could be placed on excessive salt or sugar in processed foods, and special taxes could be added to tobacco products to discourage their use. I believe that measures such as these will in the long term dramatically reduce the incidence of certain deadly diseases.

However, it should be remembered that not all examples of modern disease are preventable or predictable, and it is critical to maintain research into cures for all diseases. Thus, in diverting health spending from treatment to preventative measures, countries should encourage a balanced approach to help extend lifespans and maximise quality of life. Prevention may be better than cure, but it can never wholly replace it.

Did you enjoy the above exercise? Watch another one for $1 USD (click ‘Rent’ in the top right corner):

Better IELTS sentence structure in 28 minutes!

IELTS Academic and General Task 2 - How to write at a band 9 level

Buy Ryan’s Task 2 ebook here: https://www.e-junkie.com/ecom/gb.php?i=929957&c=single&cl=166811

43B

Have Ryan personally assess five of your Task 1 or 2 samples: https://www.e-junkie.com/ecom/gb.php?i=930041&c=single&cl=166811

Want to know more about my IELTS Writing course? Download the entire course file here: http://ieltsielts.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/IELTS-Writing-with-Ryan-Official-Course-File.pdf

Here is the task and response as they appear in the video:

Consumers are exposed to an extreme amount of advertising in the modern era. To what extent do you think people are influenced by ads? What measures would you suggest to protect them?

Modern approaches to marketing have become increasingly intrusive, and this has exposed people to more advertising than ever before in history. Because many of these advertisements successfully manipulate the viewer’s lifestyle and opinions, I feel their influence is profound. This essay will analyse examples that demonstrate this influence. It will also offer suggestions regarding how society can guard itself against the powers of advertising.

The influence of advertising can change lifestyles and societal values in dangerous ways. For example, fast food, such as that served by McDonald’s and KFC, is often presented as the diet of athletic people. To the public, these images normalise and validate what many scientific studies have confirmed is a very unhealthy dietary choice. In addition to altering lifestyles, marketing campaigns can also confuse the public about important societal events. For instance, a recently released video depicts a group of marching protestors defusing a confrontation with the police by giving them a Pepsi. Many people correctly pointed out that such imagery trivialises the purpose of protest and the professional role of the police, images that could dangerously alter the opinions of impressionable young people. Thus, as the above examples show, advertising in the modern era is extremely influential.

To protect people from these negative effects, one approach is to regulate the number of times a marketing campaign can target a specific person’s social media account. This has been effective in Canada, where marketers are only allowed to present their promotional Facebook imagery to people old enough to know they are being advertised to. A second strategy could be to create awareness programs in high schools that educate young people about advertisements and their influence. These two policies would help preserve the public’s ability to remain critical of what they see.

Although advertising is an economic necessity, its influence should be recognised and kept under control. As the above has shown, societies should work to guard their freedom to make decisions unaltered by the interests of large companies.

I have updated my online course file! Download it here:

I've updated my course file

>>>DOWNLOAD THE UPDATED COURSE FILE HERE!<<<<

My online IELTS course file has been updated to include Task 1 and 2 questions seen in late 2016 and early 2017! Download the file and then buy a corrections pack to get started:

1 Correction (either a Task 1 or 2 submission from you, not both) = $25 USD

3 Corrections = $65 USD

5 Corrections = $99 USD

After your payment clears, send your work to ryan@ieltsielts.com. I will return a full cleanup and comment to you within 36 hours.


Please remember to send me your success story after your IELTS. Here is one I received this week:

Dear Ryan,

I must give all my gratitude to you and if I had not used your correction service, I would definitely have not achieved writing band 7 so smoothly!

Recent success story

If you need any testimonial, just feel free to ask me to do that. 

I have recommended your website, YouTube video lessons and correction service to many of my clients, who also have the same IELTS requirement for the migration purpose. 

One thousand thanks are not enough for you, indeed!!!


 Here’s another one from a few weeks earlier:

Dear Ryan,

I am writing this email to genuinely thank you for helping me crack IELTS writing. I wouldn’t have been able to do that, if it wasn’t for your ebooks.

I scored 8 in writing only because I followed your blogs, watched writing videos and read your ebooks for task 1 and task 2. It took me six months to raise my score in writing from 7.5 to 8 but it was all worth it. I was in desperate need for this perfect score so I could become eligible for my permanent residency application process and now I can gladly say that I am.

So thank you for the amazing work that you are doing to help out thousands of people who are struggling to achieve their target score.


Big congratulations on the success and thanks for sharing, guys!  😎

Read All Posts