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Follow up video to last post’s exercise – 16 students’ work analyzed

Posted on March 29, 2013 by - 1 Comment

Here is the question and essay response with correctly ordered sentences:

More people are traveling today than ever before.  Why do you think this is?

Today, the number of people engaging in international travel is swelling rapidly.  This is a trend that does not appear to be slowing at all.  Although many factors have contributed to this growth, trade opportunities and tourism are thought to be the main triggers.  Both will be examined in this essay.

On the one hand, the increasing international awareness of growth markets is spurring development in the travel sector.  For example, knowledge of raw resources available in African countries has piqued the interest of manufacturing and consuming nations the world over.  To capitalize on this interest, many are making expeditions to establish cross border connections with businesspeople in the African region.  Thus, it is clear that trade is one of the core reasons international travel is growing.

In addition to this, growing affluence the world over has made it possible for increasing amounts of people to engage in recreational travel.  For instance, Chinese tourist numbers are growing so quickly that major holiday destinations, such as the Eiffel Tower in Paris, are choosing to display their public signs in French, English and Mandarin.  Thus, the unshrinking need for tourist hotspots to accommodate travelers from various countries is clear evidence that a true link between tourism numbers and international travel exists.  It can therefore be concluded that growing worldwide affluence is fueling a surge in international travel numbers. 

Following this look, it is clear that global trade opportunities and tourism are altering humanity’s need for international travel.  It is thus expected that rates of travel will only continue to climb into the foreseeable future.

You have 48 hours to put this essay’s sentences in order! Your responses will appear in my upcoming YouTube video!

Posted on March 24, 2013 by - 16 Comments

This essay was written in response to the following essay question (seen in January in an unknown location):

More people are traveling today than ever before.  Why do you think this is?

Look at the following sentences.  As a comment to this blog post, please copy and paste these sentences into the right order.  I will be making a video about this exercise and will include images of your responses:

  1. Following this look, it is clear that global trade opportunities and tourism are altering humanity’s need for international travel.
  2. For example, knowledge of raw resources available in African countries has piqued the interest of manufacturing and consuming nations the world over.
  3. Both will be examined in this essay.
  4. For instance, Chinese tourist numbers are growing so quickly that major holiday destinations, such as the Eiffel Tower in Paris, are choosing to display their public signs in French, English and Mandarin.
  5. In addition to this, growing affluence the world over has made it possible for increasing amounts of people to engage in recreational travel.
  6. Today, the number of people engaging in international travel is swelling rapidly.
  7. Thus, the unshrinking need for tourist hotspots to accommodate travelers from various countries is clear evidence that a true link between tourism numbers and international travel exists.
  8. Thus, it is clear that trade is one of the core reasons international travel is growing.
  9. To capitalize on this interest, many are making expeditions to establish cross border connections with businesspeople in the African region.
  10. It is thus expected that rates of travel will only continue to climb into the foreseeable future.
  11. This is a trend that does not appear to be slowing at all.
  12. On the one hand, the increasing international awareness of growth markets is spurring development in the travel sector.
  13. It can therefore be concluded that growing worldwide affluence is fueling a surge in international travel numbers.
  14. Although many factors have contributed to this growth, trade opportunities and tourism are thought to be the main triggers.

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You choose the prepositions!

 

The essay as it appears in the video:

What are some alternatives to fossil fuels? Do you feel the world will ever stop using them?

Global dependence on fossil fuels continues to be a pressing problem in the modern world. Although environmentally friendly energy sources are available, market prices make these alternatives prohibitively expensive for most people. I argue that humanity will indeed stop using fossil fuels in the future, but this will only happen when the price of cleaner energy sources falls to a point of competition. This will be proved by looking specifically at current trends within solar energy and biodiesel consumption.

Firstly, the increased availability of solar water heaters has made solar energy prices competitive with fossil fuels in some parts of the world. For example, the mass production of solar water heaters in China has led to their adoption as a cheap alternative to water heated using coal. Because this trend comes as a direct result of financial incentive, it is logical to conclude that market shifts will eventually cause green energy to take the place of fossil fuels.

This phenomenon is further exemplified by alternative fuel types such as biodiesel. For instance, although still slightly more expensive than energy sources derived from fossil fuels, biodiesel’s steady decline in price over the past 20 years coincides directly with a rise in its sales in most parts of the world. As most experts argue, a massive shift to biodiesel consumption will occur when prices remain consistently below fossil fuels. Thus, worldwide dependence on fossil fuels can be expected to erode as alternatives become more economical.

As evidenced by these trends in solar energy and biodiesel consumption, humanity is gradually shifting itself from fossil fuels to more environmentally friendly energy sources, and I hope this development continues.

IELTS Academic and General Task 2 - How to write at a band 9 level

Buy Ryan’s Task 2 ebook here: https://gumroad.com/l/fWPb

Have Ryan personally assess five of your Task 1 or 2 samples: http://tinyurl.com/zkr9w2r

Do the advantages trump the disadvantages in this IELTS essay?

[Note: The word ‘phenomenons’ appears in this video. This should be ‘phenomena’, as it is with reference to the scientific plural.]

More and more students are going to another country for higher education. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

It is very common today for students to go abroad to complete their college or university education. However, this trend presents both advantages and disadvantages to the students and the institutions involved. These items will be analysed in this essay before a position is declared.

The advantages of rising foreign student numbers are numerous. For one, this trend encourages human collaboration and the exchanging of ideas. For example, a Canadian engineering student attending a Japanese university would bring ideas and perspectives different to those of their classmates, a phenomenon that enriches the university’s program and level of discussion as a whole. In addition to this, having studied outside their home country, this student would take valuable international understanding with them, an important second benefit that promotes peace and international friendship. As this example shows, students and the world at large benefit when higher studies are engaged outside the home country.

However, many would argue the globalising of higher education does have certain disadvantages. For many young adults, foreign students may represent a threat to both professional opportunities after school and the overall workforce of their country. In the US, for example, companies scout talent on university campuses, and at select times this means offering employment to a foreign student instead of a local student. Although this scenario does occur, its impact on local graduates and their employment opportunities has been sensationalised by the media and large personalities like President Trump. Moreover, it should be remembered that attracting the world’s most talented students increases opportunities for important phenomena like scientific discoveries. Thus, the disadvantages of students going abroad for higher education are difficult to define.

As the above discussion reveals, the advantages of globalised higher education much outweigh the disadvantages, and I strongly hope countries continue to encourage the growth of their foreign student bodies.

IELTS Academic and General Task 2 - How to write at a band 9 level

Buy Ryan’s Task 2 ebook here: https://gumroad.com/l/fWPb

Have Ryan personally assess five of your Task 1 or 2 samples: http://tinyurl.com/zkr9w2r

CAN YOU WRITE IN ALL CAPS ON THE IELTS?! (…and other questions!)

In this video, we use the Information for Candidates PDF to answer a few questions. Download your own copy of this document at: https://www.ielts.org/~/media/publications/information-for-candidates/ielts-information-for-candidates-2015-english-uk.ashx

(Is that link not working? Google ‘IELTS info for candidates’.)

IELTS Academic and General Task 2 - How to write at a band 9 level

Buy Ryan’s Task 2 ebook here: https://gumroad.com/l/fWPb

Have Ryan personally assess five of your Task 1 or 2 samples: http://tinyurl.com/zkr9w2r

How does Ryan’s IELTS writing service work?

IELTS Academic and General Task 2 - How to write at a band 9 level

Buy Ryan’s Task 2 ebook here: https://gumroad.com/l/fWPb

Have Ryan personally assess five of your Task 1 or 2 samples: http://tinyurl.com/zkr9w2r

How to start sentences in your IELTS essay!

IELTS Academic and General Task 2 - How to write at a band 9 level

Buy Ryan’s Task 2 ebook here: https://gumroad.com/l/fWPb

Have Ryan personally assess 5 of your Task 1 or 2 samples: http://tinyurl.com/zkr9w2r

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