Essay response to an IELTS Task 2 question seen in Paris, France

There are many things that motivate a person to work, but money is the most compelling.  In your opinion, how influential is the power of money?

People the world over come from different circumstances and work for different reasons.  Although many may have alternative sources of motivation for the work that they do, money is thought to be among the most stimulating forces in the world.  This will be proven by looking at how financial gain can force a person to engage in professions that are both unpleasant and, in some instances, fundamentally irrational.

For one, many people around the world engage in jobs they do not enjoy simply because they want money.  For example, hundreds of millions of people do manufacturing work across the developing world.  As this kind of labour is often tiring, dangerous and even degrading in some circumstances, it is easy to see that the only thing motivating these people to engage in this work is monetary compensation.  As this shows, the power and influence of money is difficult to underestimate.

In addition to this, monetary reward can even compel people to do jobs that are irrational and self-defeating.  For example, the decisions made by individuals working in the American financial district prior to the crisis of 2008 were damaging to the world’s economic stability.  Were personal financial gain to be taken away from the overall equation, it is doubtful any of these same devastating financial decisions would have been made.  Thus, the extreme motivational power of money can be seen.

As the above shows, money holds an authority over the decisions and career directions of most people.  It therefore must be concluded that money acts as one of the world’s most influential forces, and this is a phenomenon that is not expected to change anytime soon.

 

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7 Comments. Leave a comment or set a Trackback.
  1. #1 • sunish On 24.08.2012 said:
     

    Ryan, absolitely brilliant essay . Your all ielts answers are significantly displaying the authentic style of your writing strategy. Its wonderful. I am a great fan of yours. I have sincerly recommented your way of approach to many people.

  2. #2 • Denis On 24.08.2012 said:
     

    Hi Ryan,

    It’s very a replete essay, thanks.

    And questions :-)

    1) Although it was asked to express “you opinion”, you are not pointing like ‘I think’ or ‘I believe’, so you think it’s not necessary to emphasis that it is you point of view and express it in the passive voice?

    2) “any of these same devastating financial decisions”
    I would wright “those”, and I don’t understand what do “same” mean here.

    3) Is it OK to tell about something irrational like take “personal financial gain” out of Wall street? Or we can imagine to some extent in essays?

  3. #3 • Alla On 25.08.2012 said:
     

    I did not understand the first sentence in this essay:”People world over come”?Is it inversion or what?

  4. #4 • George Andrews On 26.08.2012 said:
     

    Very good points..

    One major reason also could be:

    The power of money is so great that people migrate to distant lands leaving behind their kith and kin and homely comforts for jobs with better financial prospects.

  5. #5 • Henry On 28.08.2012 said:
     

    This essay has some errors, I don’t understand. Why is that?

  6. #6 • sudheer On 01.09.2012 said:
     

    Hi Ryan,

    My apologies for posting my comment in wrong area. The above response was intended to be posted in the most recent essay question. However, i did noticed lately that i have commented in older post. I did corrected my mistake by posting this in the right place. But here i do not have any control over to delete this wrong post.

  7. #7 • fateme On 14.11.2012 said:
     

    Hi Ryan,
    I’m new to your blog, but read most of you essay and watched most of the videos. The style that you are teaching is practical and beneficial so thanks a lot for that, I have to say I gain a lot from your lessons.
    I have a question about this essay topic, before I read your essay I wrote mine that then correct myself. I wrote about the affect of money on people’s lives and how money bring them happiness and satisfaction in life and work. would that be a wrong answer to this question?
    Thanks for your attention and respond.

 

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