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(Model essay) General exam question as seen in Australia on 23 September 2011

Posted on October 12, 2011 by

In many countries, young children are looked after during the day while their parents go to work.  In a sense, they are raised by guardians and not their biological parents.  What is your opinion of this family arrangement?

Customs regarding the raising of children vary from on culture to another.  In many countries, children are cared for by daytime guardians while their parents work to build careers.  It is argued that this form of rearing does not benefit children as much as when they are raised directly by their biological parents.  This will be proven by looking at how such a family arrangement causes misguided values and feelings of abandonment among the young people in question.

Firstly, parents who choose their professional goals over raising their children run the risk of setting poor examples for their offspring.  For instance, children of double-income families are often indirectly taught that money is more important than family unity.  These children grow up with unhealthy opinions about the significance of income level and could potentially become adults who judge other human beings based on monetary status.  As this reasoning shows, children are best raised by their parents.

Secondly, young children regularly separated from their parents may experience feelings of abandonment and this can lead to other problems.  For example, it is a proven fact that Canadian children of single, working parents tend not to perform as well in school as their classmates from nuclear familial arrangements boasting a stay-at-home mother or father.  This example shows that there is a clear link between a child’s academic performance and the level of attention they receive from their parents.  Thus, it is clear that young people are not benefited when they are raised by guardians.

After analyzing the above points, the merits of regular parental presence can be seen.  It has thus been proven that parents should avoid working patterns that are detrimental to the development of their children.  It is hoped parents everywhere commit to do what they can to ensure they are the primary guidance-providers of their young ones.

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Ryan's Recent Posts Posts

Patrick answers your immigration questions

I had a very interesting chat with Patrick (101migration.com) about Canadian and Australian immigration. Several of your questions were answered. Tune in to hear the entire interview from start to finish:

Model response to an Academic Task 2 question seen 12 July 2014

 

(I’ve made this response a little bit longer than needed to demonstrate additional vocabulary and grammatical structures. Your IELTS essay would not need to be this long.)

Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Government jobs carry with them serious responsibilities. It is therefore no surprise that a person’s age and experience come under scrutiny when positions in government need to be filled. Many feel influential government jobs should be reserved for those who are older and have more experience, while others feel the criterion for these positions should be capability, namely whomever is most able to carry out the job. This essay will look at both sides before drawing a logical conclusion.

On the one hand, many argue that younger people should be made ineligible for important government positions, and the implications of this opinion are clear. Those operating at senior levels within a country’s military, for example, require field experience to prevent disastrous decisions that could cause the needless loss of life. Were younger people allowed to fast track their ascension within a country’s military, they could find themselves having to make critical choices based more on theoretical study than practical experience, and this could have catastrophic results. Thus, is it understandable why many feel younger government workers should be incubated before given promotion to important positions.

However, there are several plausible counters to this argument. For one, younger workers bring creativity and fresh ideas to government. For example, young government workers in Canada successfully pushed to increase HIV understanding and dispel stigmas attached to the disease in the 1980s, a development that encouraged tolerance and reduced irrational fear. In addition to fresh ideas, it should be remembered that to get a government job, one has to successfully engage a rigorous screening process. If a younger person engages this process as well or better than an older person, it is hard to argue that age should be a decisive factor when offering employment. It is clear from these reasons that there is merit to awarding important government career options to younger people.

Although the above look reveals solid evidence for both sides of the argument, it is felt that the healthiest approach to designating government positions is to ensure candidates fulfil rigorous training programs. Thus, a person’s age should not be considered a universal precursor to the awarding of government jobs.

How to use concession in your argument essay

Looking at a point that opposes your own can be tricky in an argument essay. In this video, we go over what concession is and how you can use it.

Igor scores band 8.5

In this episode of IELTSCast, Igor, an IELTS instructor in Kazakhstan, details how he managed to score band 8.5. The resources Igor suggests are:

(Book) Listening Strategies for the IELTS (Beijing University Press)
(Website) http://www.renren.com – A Chinese social networking site with well established IELTS communities.
(Website) Everyone’s favourite former examiner Chris Green’s work at http://ielts-yasi.englishlab.net/

9 alternative words that will help you get to IELTS band 9

In this video we go over 9 words that you can use to supplant some of your plainer lexicon (see below for a list of the words):

Alternatives for “good”:

1. rewarding / 2. satisfying

(S) “I have a rewarding job.”

(S) “My career has been satisfying for several reasons.”

(S) “My time in Sydney has been rewarding.”

(WT2) Do you prefer to work for a large or small company?

“It is for this reason that I feel working for a large company is more satisfying than working for a small company.”

3. merit

(WT2) Some people believe that diet and exercise in a population are largely the responsibility of the government. Others feel people should…

“Thus, the argument that governments should be responsible for the diets and exercise levels of citizens holds merit.”

4. optimal

(S) At what time of the day are you most productive?

“My optimal work time is in the morning. It is when my mind is clearest and I can…”

(WT1) Pie charts comparing the diets of older men in varying states of health.

“The second pie chart illustrates optimal weightings of fat, carbohydrates and protein for men aged 50 and older.”

Alternatives for “faster/slower”:

5. accelerate

(S) “The clubs I joined at university accelerated my studies.”

(S) “Careers in high tech are typically accelerated in my hometown as many young people engage internships at the nearby tech park.”

(WT1) “Growth of laptop sales accelerated between 2002 and 2004.”

(WT2) Young people learn more and at an accelerated speed through the use of technology.

6. retard

“For example, libraries that do not electronically index their resources retard the rate at which a student can access information.”

Alternatives for important/unimportant:

7. key

(S) “The wedding planner we hired was a key individual for three reasons. Firstly, he was able to…”

(S) How do you define a “hero”?

“I think integrity, kindness and honesty are key. To me, a hero is someone that does the right thing even when no one is looking.”

(WT1) “A key feature of the diagram is the pause that occurs between the first and second halves of the paper making process.”

8. chiefly

(S) (In response to a Part 2 monologue about an important person in your country.) What do you think ___ will be most remembered for?

(S) “I think ___ will be chiefly remembered for his contributions to science…”

(WT2) “For example, it has long been established that carbon dioxide emissions are chiefly responsible for global warming.”

9. trivial

(S) How central was the Internet to your studies at university?

(S) “To be honest, the role it played was quite trivial. I found the vast amount of my studying was done using the traditional resources found at the university library.”

(WT1) (A pie chart comparing the impact various human activities have on the death rates of forest fauna.

(S) “Although pesticides account for 43% of all fauna death rates, mortalities due to human activities at campsites reveal the comparatively trivial figure of 0.01%.”

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