(Model essay) IELTS Academic Task 2 as seen in India on 5 November 2011

Once children start school, teachers have more influence than parents on their intellectual and social development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The beliefs and values of young people are shaped through a myriad of influences. Among the most major of these are a child’s parents and teachers. I argue that ultimately teachers have more influence than parents on the intellectual and social development of children. This will be proved by looking at how students are more attentive when interacting with teachers and how teachers engage students in an environment more conducive to emulation and learning.

Firstly, teachers have the opportunity to interact with their students during periods of the day when young people are more attentive. To illustrate, an American study once proved that human beings more readily commit new skills and ideas to memory in the morning as opposed to the afternoon or evening. As teachers spend five mornings a week with young people, this example makes it clear that they have an advantage over parents when it comes to developing a young person’s mind. Thus, it is clear that teachers affect the intellectual and social growth of a child in a manner that the child’s parents cannot match.

In addition to this, the classroom environment is a powerful place that puts a child in a frame of mind that encourages learning. For example, it has been proven that students who are home schooled tend to have more difficultly than classroom-taught students in absorbing the information their instructor presents to them. I feel this disparity exists because a classroom surrounds students with an environment of academia, and this promotes the acquisition of knowledge. As this sort of environment is not always present in a child’s home, it is clear that teachers are in many ways more influential than parents in expanding a child’s mind.

After looking at the above, it can be seen that instructors have advantages over parents when it comes to shaping the minds of children. Because of the enduring nature of the traditional classroom style of learning, I do not expect this pattern to be drastically altered in the foreseeable future.

About Ryan

I have been developing online IELTS training resources for over 10 years. For more information about me and how I can help your preparation for the IELTS, please email me: ryan@ieltsielts.com
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6 Responses to (Model essay) IELTS Academic Task 2 as seen in India on 5 November 2011

  1. Abdul Mohammed says:

    Great essay, its mixed of simple, compound and complex sentences structure with no grammatical errors and accurate usage of grammar. Thanks Ryan Good bless u.

  2. Maribel Medina Mesa says:

    Hi Ryan, I’m from Spain and I am a self-taught student preparing for my first IELTS exam. Recently, I’ve found this table on IELTS ON TRACK book, which helps to identify different types of IELTS essays.
    http://www.imagengratis.org/images/typesofessays.jpg
    I Could not find in any book, a table or a schema, which clarifies satisfactorily the classification of different types of essays to those faced by IELTS students , so I Would like to ask you the next Favour:
    Could you post on your blog, a diagram or chart more updated to clarify once and for all questions regarding the classification essays? To be honest, I miss in the above table, the different terminology that can receive different types of essays. For example:
    – DISAGREE OR AGREE and TO WHAT EXTENT… ESSAYS are called in some books as ARGUMENT or PERSUASIVE or OPINION ESSAY. Even In other books they are called as THESIS-LED APPROACH ESSAY
    – TWO SIDES OF AN ARGUMENT are called in other books are as DISCUSSION AND AGAINST or FOR ADVANTAGES or DISADVANTAGES ESSAY, and even ARGUMENT ESSAY-LED APPROACH ESSAY.
    I need to know if EXPLAIN A SITUATION OR PROBLEM ESSAY can be considered as CAUSE EFFECT ESSAY or if it’s the same type as PROBLEM SOLUTION ESSAY.
    I am asking this question because in many books, only identify 3 types of essays (ARGUMENT, DISCUSSION AND PROBLEM SOLUTION ESSAY) and do not mention the Cause and Effect Essay, so I am doubtful about these two types of essays.What are the differences between both? (in its structure or layout and in its task statements).
    It would be very nice if you could include different types of outline or LAYOUTS for each type of essay. I am making this request because for many first-IELTs students like me, is a real odyssey to decipher the complicated puzzle that is familiar with the several types of IELTS essays to which we must face in the WRITING MODULE, whether from the extensive literature dealing IELTS on there are so many names used to identify the types of essays, especially if in addition, we are not native speakers.
    I think if you could publish this table, it would be considered by many students as IELTs premium study material because after many books consulted on WRITING TASK 2, I feel that no one has reached the level of detailed analysis for facing WRITING TASK 2, which it has the book tHE COMPLETE GUIDE TO WRITING TASK 1 for coping with writing task 1.
    Thanks for your website!! It’s really helpful for all IELTS STUDENTS.

  3. Mahmoud says:

    Hi Ryan ,
    Thanks for the great efforts done on this amazing forum !
    I would like to ask, if the question task says “To what extent do you agree and disagree ?”
    shouldn’t I consider both views ? because this essay seems pretty much one sided ,it is great by the way !
    I know that it follows the argument essay type as in your clips but most the studying materials I read , indicates that both opinions should be considered?
    What do you think?
    Thanks

  4. Saree says:

    This is a wonderful essay, but I could not find any relation between the last sentence in the essay & the main topic .
    (It is thus expected that the traditional classroom style of learning will not be drastically altered in the foreseeable future.)
    I would be very grateful if you could explain this.

  5. dinju says:

    it’s definitely helpful for students for writing essays.

  6. Javad says:

    Hi,
    Could you please help me as I sat three time on general Ielts in the last 3 months and still couldnt get 7 in writing. This is my result:
    first time:
    L:8.5
    R:8
    W:6
    S:7.5

    Second time:
    L:7
    R:8
    W:6.5
    S:7

    Third time:
    L:8.5
    R:7
    W:6
    S:7.5

    I’m really frustrated. I read all of your website and your advice. I dont know what’s wrong with me. One problem I noticed is time. I couldnt find time to check my writing.
    i’M LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU. i HAVE ANOTHER TEST IN TWO WEEKS.

    tHANKS

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