Model General essay in response to a question seen in the Philippines in June of 2012

(This question taken from IELTS-blog.com.)

Some people believe teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time.  This can benefit the teenagers and the community as well.  Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?  Share personal examples if applicable.

Volunteerism is the practice of providing service without monetary compensation.  I argue that adolescents should be required to engage in volunteer community work in their free time.  The advantages this arrangement brings to both teenagers and the communities they come from will be shown in this essay.

For one, teenaged community workers gain life experience that could be helpful to their development as empathetic individuals.  For example, as a high school student I once washed and folded bedding for a non-profit group that provided housing to the homeless in Ottawa.  This philanthropic endeavor helped instill in me an understanding of the challenges other people face in their day to day lives.  As my experience shows, humbling volunteer work should be made mandatory to help youths recognize and respect people from other walks of life.

In addition to being beneficial to young people, adolescents who engage in community service provide valuable work for society.  For instance, while in Shanghai I remember seeing young members of a church community donate their time to picking up street garbage.  As anyone who has been to Shanghai knows, the litter that lines most streets gives the city an unwelcoming appearance.  Thus, the value that these young people brought to their community illustrates yet another reason why mandatory youth volunteer work should be supported. 

After looking at how adolescent volunteers benefit both themselves and their communities, it is clear that compulsory public work among youths is a positive thing.  High schools everywhere would be best to arrange programs that help their students contribute time to society.

About Ryan

I have been developing online IELTS training resources for over 10 years. For more information about me and how I can help your preparation for the IELTS, please email me: ryan@ieltsielts.com
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12 Responses to Model General essay in response to a question seen in the Philippines in June of 2012

  1. Anonymous says:

    Very organised essay…except for the use of youths…which is more journalistic than academic… a better use would be ‘the youth’

  2. Anonymous says:

    Nice essay

  3. Denis says:

    Is it easy to read for native speaker? I’ve read third sentence in first paragraph about ten time before I could understand it. And first sentence which is just giving a definition looks inappropriate.

    Examples look great, thanks for ideas.

    In the last sentence it is wanted to put ‘will’ before ‘arrange’, can you please explain grammer used there?

    Thanks a lot for new esse.

  4. Chigozie Onuzulike says:

    Great essay!

  5. Ryan says:

    @Anonymous Thanks for the feedback. I’m going to stick with ‘youths’, though.

    @Denis After ‘hope’, we often use the present tense with a future meaning. (For example: I hope you feel better soon.)

    The other sentences you’ve raised concerns about are fine.

    (Please note the proper spelling of ‘grammar’.)

    @Chigozie Thank you!

  6. Anonymous says:

    hi Riyan,

    let me know whether I can write this essay by discuss the both advantages and disadvantages of forcing young people for volunteeer work .Then my opinion is we should not make unpaid work compulsory for the adolescents , that should be volunteer .

    thank you.

  7. priya says:

    hi Ryan

    let me know whether I can write this essay by discussing both side and my opinion is we should not make unpaid work compulsory ,it should be volunteer.

    thank you

  8. Matt says:

    Hi, Ryan.

    Thanks for your essay, but I’m wondering whether we should state our stance right at the beginning of the essay.

    Take this essay as an example. Do you think it would be better if the stance were stated in the first paragraph?

    I look forward to more essays, task 1 in particular!

    Thanks, Ryan!

  9. Ernie says:

    Question. Is the length of the essay like this adequate? Many struggle to write more as if it will add credits to the whole essay if written longer.

  10. Ryan says:

    @Matt I am not sure what you are referring to here. I did state a position in the first paragraph (look for the thesis that begins, ‘It is argued…’.

    @Ernie As long as your essay fulfills your Task requirements and is not under 250 words, you will be fine. I once spoke to an examiner in Shanghai that told me concise essays tend to score better than longwinded essays.

  11. Ankur says:

    Dear Ryan,

    As watched in videos and tutorials , you advice not to use the personal pronouns in your essay. However, in this essay you have used one. Could you please suggest as is this approach appropriate.

    Regards
    Ankur

  12. chinn says:

    your essays are easy to understand only for native english speaker it is hard for others in one reading.

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