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Spot the mistakes in this IELTS essay video!

Posted on December 16, 2012 by

Can you find the mistake in each sentence?

No access to YouTube?  Download the video here.

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

History and human development have proven that education and healthcare are fundamental human rights and should not be restricted to anyone regardless of financial status.  Thus, it is argued that the funding of education and basic healthcare is a responsibility that should be borne by a country’s government.  This will be proven by looking at how such an arrangement leads societies to higher standards of living, which in turn leads to greater degrees of productivity per capita.

Firstly, when the people of a society do not need to worry about paying for education and healthcare, they have greater freedom to develop as human beings.  For example, the Human Development Index is a chart that compares countries based on their citizens’ life expectancy, level of education and income expectancy.  It is no surprise that countries providing free healthcare and education (such as Sweden and Australia) consistently have higher HDI levels than countries that do not provide these services.  Thus, academia and medical support should be provided by governments.

In addition to the above, it appears that when a society’s concern for personal wellbeing is lessened, the productivity of its people increases.  For instance, gross domestic product per capita values appear to move in tandem with HDI values.  Thus, the tie between longer life expectancy, education and GDP can be seen.  It therefore is clear that governments capable of providing educational and healthcare resources for their societies encourage positive growth.

As the above discussion shows, countries are most benefitted when governments take on the burden of education and medical expenses.  It is therefore hoped that all countries around the world strive to provide such an arrangement.

8 Responses to “Spot the mistakes in this IELTS essay video!”

  1. Anwar Hossain says:

    Hi, Could you make a video for sentence starter of Academic task 1? I hope it will be helpful for students who are going to take for academic IELTS.
    Thanking you.

  2. Pari says:

    Hi Ryan ,
    I think this video is very helpful because it is
    easy to be followed and My essays are full of
    These kinds of mistakes that can be corrected
    easily. Would you please make more videos
    of this kind.
    Thank you

  3. Dilshad says:

    Penny has dropped!!! Thank you, Ryan

  4. ANJUM says:

    Hi, do you take online classes for general training writing. If yes, please let me know how much do you charge. Iam intrested in taking classes.

    Thank you kindly,

  5. setareh says:

    It was very helpful .Thank you.

  6. Divya says:

    Dear Ryan,

    Thank you for this very useful website.I took exam on Jan 19th and managed to get 8.5 overall with individual scores 8, 9, 7.5 and 8.5. My writing and speaking scores were 6.5 when i took IELTS 6 months ago which improved to 7.5 and 8.5. Thank you for those wonderful essays and tips which definitely improved my score and i must say I managed to improve my reading score from 7.5 to 9 using some of the lessons you provided here in this website.
    Thank you and may god bless you

    Divya Philip

  7. ellen says:

    Thanks for your ebook which is really helpful.
    However, The exams questions are becoming more tricky making me don’t know which structure shall i use.
    1. do u think it is a positive or negative development?
    —If i say i think its positive and support in 2 paragraphs, i m afraid of low marks bcz of not mentioning another side, so maybe not fully cover the topic and not fully address the topic.
    —if i say i think its both good n bad by explaining for each paragraph , i m also scared of losing marks bcz like u said i should only defend my view.

    2. do u think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

    —-if i say good>bad, then explain in two body paragraphs for the reasons, i m afraid of losing marks bcz i don’t mention another side.
    —-if i write good for one paragraph, bad for another paragraph, and conclude either good>bad or bad> good, i m afraid of losing marks bcz i showed equal weight of good n bad but don’t explain why advantages “outweigh”disadvantages.

    I am so confused about those stuff and feel no matter what i do is wrong.
    Looking forward to your ideas.

    Thank you
    Have a good weekend!

  8. ellen says:

    Hi, its a helpful video. But i m a bit confused about the structure as only one side has been discussed. Do we need to mention about the other side like responsibility of people?
    I have been told by an examiner that if i don’t mention the other side it means that i have not fully addressed the topic.

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The two pie charts display the fatality rates of 6 infectious disease categories as percentages of overall infectious disease deaths in Canada in the years 1900 and 1930. The corresponding table outlines the number of deaths due to infectious diseases per 1000 people in Canada for the same years.

Deaths caused by 3 of the 6 infectious disease categories shrunk as percentages of overall infectious disease deaths between the years 1900 and 1930. Diphtheria dropped from 37% to 24%. Typhoid and scarlet fever dropped from 29% to 18% and 9% to 5%, respectively. Measles was the only disease that held a consistent proportion of overall infectious disease deaths at 12%. Whooping cough grew from 11% to 15% and other, non-pandemic diseases swelled from 2% to 26%.

However, the table adds significant context to the above values. It appears as though the overall death rates due to infectious diseases fell tremendously over the period in question. In 1900, 86 out of 1000 people died of infectious diseases in Canada. In 1930, however, this figure was only 32. Thus, because overall death rates from infectious diseases shrunk so dramatically over the 30 years in question, any trends observed between the two pie charts can be assumed less intense than they appear.

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