As you can see, the following essay is missing an outline sentence. What do you think I should write? Leave your suggestions in the comments of this blog post. I will choose the best suggestion tomorrow night and add it to this essay.
(Essay question seen this month in Trondheim, Norway.)
A lot of older people are suffering from loneliness these days. They also lack physical fitness. What do you think are the reasons for these problems? Can you think of possible solutions? Use personal examples if applicable.
Increasing levels of loneliness and inactivity can be seen among aged people the world over. I argue that these problems primarily result from the absence of outing options and exercise in an older person’s life. ________________Insert your suggested outline sentence here!________________.
Firstly, engaging aged people in peer groups could help to give them the push they need to keep socially active. For example, in my hometown of Ottawa, many older people join day trip clubs. These clubs give them the opportunity to travel with their peers around the city for the purpose of socialising. As elderly Canadians often report themselves to be less lonely than their peers in other developed countries, it is clear that these outing groups may play a key role in curbing feelings of isolation among old people everywhere.
To address the issue of inactivity, encouraging old people to maintain a proper morning routine is important. For instance, signs have been erected in many public parks in China to promote simple exercises that elderly people can do to help keep themselves fit. This strategy has clearly been effective in Shanghai, where many old people practice these exercises every morning. Thus, this example provides clear evidence that public encouragement of physical activity among the elderly works.
Following this look at the issues that derive from a lack of outing options and general fitness, it is felt organised day trips and morning exercise routines provide plausible remedies. I hope these measures are put into action for the betterment of aged people everywhere.
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The possible solutions to the problems of loneliness and lack of activity will be suggested and analyzed in the following paragraphs.
Analyzing both the outing option and morning exercise will provide the suitable solution to over come the loneliness and physical problems among aged people.
It is believed the isolation that senior members of the society face can be dealt effectively by encouraging social as well as physical exercises among them .
It is believed the isolation that senior members of the society face can be dealt effectively by encouraging social as well as physical exercises among them .
This will be proven by looking at how beneficial it is to socialize and exercise will eventually allow them to remain fit and stress-free.
It will be shown by analyzing the significance of enrolling aged people to the club based on their interests and the benefit public encouragement/support can bring.
This essay will look at how both arranging a regular intraction to others and encouraging to get in to the habbit of excercise can be benefitial.
This will be shown by looking at how certain social activities and daily regular exercises can prevent the aged from standing apart as well as keep fit.
By giving scenarios regarding policies and phenomena in different regions, this essay will prove that these obstacles can be eased by socialising with other elderly people and participating in routine activities.
Outline sentence:
“Engaging old people in peer groups and encouraging them to outing activity can successfully address the problem of loneliness and lack of physical activity among elders”
This will be proven by looking how socialization and doing some physical activities allay the depression felt by the senior citizen.
In this essay, lets us tackle the cause and effect of how loneliness does affect one’s individual life’s in his/her older age. And perhaps, some possible interventions that we can render to make one”s life more productive, meaningful thereby making them at least cheerful rather than becoming melancholic for the rest of their lives particulary the elder people which is common among european countries.
Both viewpoints will be analyzed in this essay.
This essay will look at the causes of loneliness and physical fitness among the ageing individuals and also some possible solutions to this issue.
In the following paragraphs, we will look into details how an outing and exercises could curb their loneliness.
It can be seen in the following paragraphs how the elderly-friendly facilities and oriented-measures implemented in other countries to benefit the aging population.
This will be proven by analyzing who they can be escaped from their loneliness with attending in social clubs and doing daily exercise in a healthy environment.
The effectiveness of socialization and daily exercise routines will be analyzed.
Hi Ryan teacher.
This is my outline sentence:
“Analyzing both benefits of being with other groups of people in the society and physical movement by routine exercises will show this.”
Hope it will be great.
The quality of the life of these people can be improved by suitable socialisation and life style
This will be proven by analyzing how lucrative peer groups are for loneliness and how public signs are important for physical fitness.
The possible solutions of the problem of loneliness will be analysed by taking the examples of social activities and daily exercise routine in the following paragraphs.
sorry,it is how not who in my above sentence.
the possible solutions to loneliness and sedentarism in elderly people will be discussed in following paragraphs.
Hi guys,
Thank you for participating. Here are my thoughts:
Radmila – OK
Murad – Grammatically incorrect
Puja – You’ve got the right idea, but it sounds award to use ‘the’ before ‘society’ and to couple ‘social’ with ‘exercises’.
Sassiya – Grammatically incorrect
Rawshan – Grammatically incorrect
Rajesh – Grammatically incorrect
Cynthia – Grammatically incorrect
Megan – OK, but could you state this more concisely?
Andrey – Grammatically incorrect
JV – Grammatically incorrect
Jasmin – Grammatically and structurally incorrect
JDP – More detail is needed. You need to make it clear that you will be looking at potential solutions.
Ziaul – OK, but we already stated the causes in the thesis.
Erynn – Grammatically incorrect
Carol – Grammatically incorrect
Setareh – Grammatically incorrect
Anthony – OK
Adel – Grammatically incorrect. Also, please remember that we’ve already suggested causes, so this sentence is to outline the potential solutions we will be analyzing.
John – These points are not in keeping with what’s written in the rest of the essay.
Suresh – Grammatically incorrect and awkward vocabulary choices
Aakash – You’re on the right track, but the wording is awkward.
Anonymous – Right idea, but grammatically incorrect
So, we’ll go with the suggestions we’ve received from Radmila and Anthony. Hope that little exercise was helpful.
By the way, don’t forget to join Ben and I in http://www.ielts-chat.com tomorrow night at 10 pm Shanghai time.
Next week, April 29th, Barry from http://www.immistay.com is going to join us at http://www.ielts-chat.com to share info on the immigration process to Australia (this is his area of expertise). I’ll write a post in the coming week with details about this meet, but if you have interest in this topic try to keep that Sunday evening free!
See you tomorrow,
Ryan
“The legitimacy of this reasoning will be justified before concluding this essay”.
The possible intervention for the underlying cause would be to initiate group therapy programs among elderly populace as well as encouraging them to maintain a active and healthy routine.
or
The possible remedy for the underlying cause would be to encourage elderly individuals to enroll in group therapy programs as well as to maintain a healthy and active routine.
MR. Ryan can you comment on my piece of writing. Can some grade my piece of writing?
With the increse in use of the internet, books will soon become un necessary. To what extant do you agree or disagree?
In today’s world, electronic media like internet has revolutionised the life style of the people. Many people believe that with the incresing number of e-books, tradidionally printed books will be less in demand. My personal belief is that tradionally printed texts will never be repaced by electronic books. This will be proven by looking at how tradidionally paper books are essentil for students and Reasearchers to excell well.
For one, originally printed books are a good source of information of all ages. These are being used and referred by many teachers , especially when someone is doing research on any subject. References are made, when pupils have any writing assignment. For example, When I was doing M.phel in Chemistry, I made three references from The American General of physical chemistry in order to putforward my thesis. As this example shows that text books from library are extremely important for achieving successful academic goals.
In addition to this, printed version of text books are thought to be a sighn of cultural heritage. In many libraries, there are thousands of books of more than hundread years old still preserved in good condition. For instance, these books are often referred by many researchers and historians just to know the culture, art and life style of stone age.
In conclusion, It has been proven that tradionally printed books will never be treated with less significance. Thus. it is predicted that individuals will continue to be benifitted from these texts in the foreseeable future.
The involvement of aged people in peer groups and a proper routine exercise will be helpful and all of these will be discussed in detail in the essay.
The benefits of socialisation and setting daily exercise routine will be analysed in the following paragraphs.
The best solutions to overcome the aged group’s lonliness and physical inactivity would be involving in social interaction and suitable exercise which are analyzing as follows.
In my opinion,recommending regular meetings with peer groups and physical body exercises can help invigorate them while keeping their minds busy.
Hence, the importance of socialisation and physical exercise are need to be analysed clearly .
In my point of view the possible solutions are free public transport , clubs and seperate retirement housing and living options. will encourage old people to mingle with their peer groups.This should be dealt by the respective government.
Outline sentence-
This essay will explain the likely way outs of loneliness and physical inaptness of elderly people by depicting the issues which may cause the problems and how they can get rid of that.
Thus, the active social interaction and suitable physical execise are the best solutions to the given problems which is going to analyze in further essay.
This essay will analyse the importance of socialization and physical fitness in aspect of overcome the problem of loneliness among older people.
In this essay i intend to delve into the causes of feeling of empty syndrome and decreased physical activities and also suggest some remedies to come out from the vicious web of mentioned factors