What do you think would make a good conclusion to this essay? Leave your suggestion as a comment to this post. I will provide feedback to all entries submitted within the next 24 hours.
(This essay question was seen last month in the UK.)
Men and women employed in full-time jobs should share the responsibilities of household chores. Do you agree or disagree? Share relevant personal experiences.
With women demonstrating their ability to perform just as well as men on the global professional stage, it is no wonder that more and more men are taking on the responsibilities of domestic life. I feel that all household chores should be distributed evenly between dual income couples. The virtues of this arrangement will be shown by looking at the positive effects it has on both children and the relationship quality the married couple experiences.
For one, parents who share housework provide a good example to their children of the importance of empathy. For instance, while working in Dubai, I taught English to children of several dual income families. These children were very proactive when it came to helping their parents with household duties. Looking back, I feel these children acted in this selfless manner in response to the living models their parents provided. As this example shows, parents who equally shoulder the burden of household duties pass on worthy character traits to their children.
In addition to this, the relationship quality married couples experience can benefit from their sharing in the challenges of day-to-day life. For example, although my own mother never worked, she was always very gracious of my father when he would take the time to help her with duties around the house. This sharing in hardship helped to strengthen my parents’ union and acts as yet another benefit to the equal divvying of household duties between married couples.
After looking at how equal burden can benefit a married couple’s children and relationship, it is clear that this is an opinion that should be supported. ___________Insert your sentence here!____________
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We limited our essay to these two examples however, few other examples need to be explored further to give the subject the significance it deserves.
“As the burgeoning trend of working mother, it is expected that more couple will share the household responsibilities in the future.”
It is hoped that married couples will inculcate the responsiblilty of sharing household chores in their lives for happy living.
Thus, it is predicted that this trend will be expanded more in societies when stressful full – time jobs take place at both men’s and women’s work places.
If all men and women can embrace such an attitude towards responsibilities, more smiles will definitely be seen within households.
To conclude ,it is also a spirit of cooperation that should be encouraged not only to the married couples and their children, but also to every class in the society to contribute their effort to make a better living.
It is hoped that many whose spouses are employed in full time jobs could reassess the attitude towards household chores and proactively help thier better halves in the maintenance of their family hearths.
By considering the benefits of getting good effect upon their children’s life as well as strong family relations , it is hoped that married couples will equally support each other in their household chores.
Having said all these, I’m of the opinion that couples who are employed in full time job ought to share the responsibilities of household chores. This will not only help to strengthen their marital bonds but will enable them appreciate the gift of their family and as well as provide a good example to their children of the importance of empathy.
It will give a new fresh breath to our decaying society.
Therefore, it is expected that household tasks will be allocated into professional couples equally in order to establish a tranquil and stress-free life.
I think that, is right for men and women employed in full-time jobs share the responsabilities of household chores for the benefit of one another, to make them more united in their lifes, to meke them feel the importance to live together that is to help one another when it is necessary, also to remember that always they need each other to complete their selves even in responsabilities of household.
A stable household structure ,understanding and a positive adult role model,
would build a balanced team spirit family.
This trend would continue for the future Not only for the sake of relationship and children, but also it is impossible to live in today’s world without having a job for both husband and wife.
Therefore, I strongly support the idea of couple being sharing responsibilities and standing side by side to each other during good and bad times, this will project perfect example of balanced life style for their children and will help them to understand the bond of love, caring and sharing.
Thus, it is recommended that dual-income couples share their household chores in order to consistently live happier.
Therefore, both men and women should share the responsibilities of household tasks.
It it predicted that working couples sharing household chores will rise in feature.
My personal view is that sharing more responsibilities creates evens of happiness, brings you close each other and make strong understandings.
events*
This living style is expected to be more adopted in future as dual income is also become necessity.
Therefore, married couples should fit as a fiddle and put heads together in sharing domestic activites in order to lead a greener pastures life which should be order of the day . Also, parents have to be good role models to their children, since example is better than precept.
It brings harmony in family life and in the society by bringing up more tolerable and generous offsprings.
It is assumed that in the foreseeable future men and women doing full time jobs will understand their responsibilities of sharing a variety of household tasks.
it is expected from current scenario that sharing responsibilities between couples will be seen in majority.
it is assumed that sharing responsibilities between couples will become more prevalent in the years to come.
Thus, it is predicted that the equal responsibility of both earning parents need to be shared in the foreseeable future.
With gender bias fading away in developed as well as developing societies, it is recommended that such arguments should not only be supported rather efforts should be made to promote them.
it is noted that the all activities should be shared by couples.it is highly recomended.
It should be discuss and understand each working couples,sharing their responsibilities in a good manner.
Thus, it is hoped parents around the globe will share household duties with each other in the foreseeable future.
Thus, it is predicted that this positive acts may reduced the rate of divorce marriages and further inject good values in younger generation that in turn result to a healthier community.
If both couples work, household respondsibilities should be shared, or else, there would certainly be frequent frictions in family relationships.
In this respect, further investigation and research on this issue will be needed to validate the benefits.
In this respect, further investigation on this issue will be needed to validate the benefits
so, a mutual uderstanding amoung the couples about their futur and their children is essential to carriout the domesic work together
Thus, it is hoped that more family members with jobs could undertake the household chores together and then have a harmonious life.
Hello Ryan,
Prediction or recommendation sentence:
It is predicted that distributing domestic jobs will follow by strengthening the relation between men and women and proper impact on children’s behavior.
I am certain if equal share of household chore is considered in every family,its befefits will be receive to all members of family and eventually society .
It is hoped that in future more and more couples will appreciate the idea of shared household responsibilities for better marriage life experience.
my opinion is both husband and wife should have the mutual understanding to run the family smoothly.It makes the couple feel more responsibilities towards family as well as community.
Lots of great suggestions (many more than I was expecting)! I’ll post my feedback this evening.
Just a quick note, I see a handful of people who have:
-omitted capital letters where needed (like the beginning of a sentence!)
-omitted double spacing after full stops
-omitted punctuation
-written multiple sentences
-added spacing before commas
-written extremely long run-on sentences
For the sake of your mark, please don’t do this!
Individualized feedback to come this evening…
@Elias Raad I’m not sure why you use ‘we’ when the essay uses ‘I’ throughout. I suppose your suggestion otherwise could work; however, please try to avoid personal pronouns whenever you can. I use them in my examples only because the essay question clearly states we are to use personal examples in our response.
@Joe I am not sure what ‘As the burgeoning trend of working mother’ means. Also, please watch your plurals.
@Ali OK, but please change ‘for happy living’ to something like ‘to increase their level of happiness’.
@Andy Nguyen How can full-time jobs ‘take place’? I’m not entirely sure what your sentence means. Do you mean that the popularity of this trend will grow in tandem with the popularity of the dual income family arrangement?
@Jeff OK.
@Carol You have written a run-on sentence. Also, please do not but spacing before commas.
@Slava I think you’ve taken a very longwinded approach to stating, ‘It is hoped that couples everywhere balance household responsibilities’.
@Murad Ali Please do not bring up new ideas in this sentence. I am referring to your idea that this family arrangement would be beneficial for children. The conclusion paragraph is where you summarize and sign off, not where you introduce additional supporting points.
@Victory Your response is way too long. This conclusion sentence is not the place where you bring up supporting ideas. All of this should have been done in the supporting paragraphs of your essay.
@Alla Your sentence makes me think of a toothpaste commercial. ☺ ‘Fresh breath’ is not a phrase you want to use to express renewal.
@Saki Zabir I don’t think you mean that they will be ‘allocated into’, but perhaps ‘executed by.
@Anonymous That sentence is way too long.
@Seham Your comma use is in error.
@Priya Is that supposed to be two sentences? I do not see a full stop between the ideas.
@Divya Your response includes several ideas. You would be best to divide these up into several sentences. What you have written is grammatical incorrect.
@Jack Good, but I would change ‘consistently live happier’ with ‘increase their level of happiness.
@Rashid OK.
@JDP OK, but I would tweak it to ‘It is predicted that the number of working couples sharing household chores will rise in the future’.
@Farasat Your sentence has several grammatical errors.
@Shri Your sentence also has several grammatical errors.
@Christina Do not bring up new ideas in this part of your essay. Also, please watch your spacing around punctuation marks.
@N.Matthew Your sentence has several grammatical errors.
@Meetu Good, but please change it to ‘It is assumed that in the foreseeable future men and women engaged in full time jobs will commit themselves to the sharing of household responsibilities’.
@Suresh I am unsure what you mean by ‘seen in majority’. Perhaps you mean that this arrangement will ‘grow in popularity’?
@Max Why didn’t you start this sentence with a capital letter? Your sentence is good, but let’s tweak it to, ‘It is assumed that the sharing of responsibilities between couples will become more prevalent in the years to come’.
@Ziaul Huda Your sentence has the right elements, but they are out of order. The sentence is therefore grammatical incorrect and awkward.
@Faisal Good, but I think your sentence would be better with the conjunction ‘but’ stuck in there. Can you see where?
@Din Why have you not started that second sentence with a capital letter?
@Smitha Thomas This sentence reads as though it is incomplete. It has several grammatical errors.
@Cynthia Osaghae Good, but our essay question is not narrowed simply to ‘parents’.
@Sharifah Watch your plurals (i.e. ‘these positive acts’). What are ‘divorce marriages’?
@George Andrews Your use of ‘or else’ is awkward. Could you replace this with ‘otherwise’?
@Utopianist We want to finish our essay strong. We don’t want to finish by saying that the reader will need to continue reading to find the answer. This is like saying, ‘I haven’t proven this point properly, so you will have to continue searching elsewhere’.
@John Parakkattu Your sentence has several grammatical errors.
@Maggie When you say ‘family members with jobs’, you are not being very specific. Our essay question is clearly alluding to couples.
@Adel Ansari No need to bring in new ideas. Also, please watch your grammar.
@Masoumeh The ideas you present in this sentence are fine, but they are distorted by grammatical inaccuracies and spelling issues.
@Aakash Your sentence looks pretty good.
@Anonymous Your sentence seems to drift away from the scope of the essay question. Please also watch your grammar.
Here’s the original ending I wrote for the essay:
For the health of households everywhere, it is hoped the familial arrangement of shared domestic responsibilities grows in popularity.
Thus, it is predicted that the sharing of domestic task by both earning partners continues to be followed in the foreseeable future.
I think, this will be error free sentence gramatically.
Hi, Ryan! Thank you so much for your kind comment! I totally misunderstood what is intended and it made me realized.
Can I ask one question here? What score did you have in mind in writing this essay which is posted above? It seems quite high.
The role that should be played by both men and women in a family has been redefined by the increasing participation of women in fulltime employment along with men. In such instances, it would be unfair to women if their male counterparts do not participate in the household tasks.
To begin with, the time available for household activities is very limited for a woman who has a fulltime employment. If the husband does not help wife in performing such duties she would not be able to complete them. Daily chores like cleaning the house, washing clothes, caring for children and cooking, for instance, are time-consuming and one person may not be able to finish them all, in one day, after coming back from work. This situation clearly suggests the need for the husband complementing wife in performing such tasks.
Again, if one member of a family is expected to bear the burden of all the household duties after the job, she would be physically and psychologically exhausted. For example, women who work in intensive jobs as nurses or doctors experience high level of physical and emotional stress. If they do not receive active support from their partners at home, it can even lead to extreme fatigue and breakdowns.
In conclusion, sharing household responsibilities is very crucial for the success of marriages today, as women also support the family financially with fulltime jobs. It is the only way to help women manage time and stress both at work and home.